I remember hearing years ago that holding a resentment is like allowing someone to live rent free in your mind. Well, real estate is getting pretty damn expensive these days!!!
I have a confession, but only if you promise not to blab it to the entire world: I have unrealistic expectations of others.
Can you relate?
While I want others to forgive when I have wronged, give me space to learn and grow, be patient as I continue to grow into the person I am trying to become, I quickly pull out the rusty butter knife at a moment’s notice to cut someone by the throat (figuratively, I’m nonviolent here, don’t be getting your panties up in a wad over that visual).
So why is that? Why am I so quick to judge yet eager to be cut some slack?
Isn’t that human nature? We want our cake and eat it too.
Instant gratification. A right now society. Gimme gimme gimme…Veruca Salt to the extreme (if you don’t know the Willy Wonka reference, we can’t be friends).
So perhaps, I can start with me. And that’s exactly what has happened this past week.
I had this resentment building for years, ok…decades. I wanted this person to rescue me, fix me, take all my troubles away, and when I thought I was wronged, abandoned, I just wanted to see all the horrible there was in them, and not give it a moment to see any of the good. Or, to take a moment and see life from their perspective.
Good thing I have friends in my life who can give me a reality check and a virtual bitch-slap to put me in my place.
So, I have been asked to pray for that person, for 2 weeks, to have everything they want. I’m halfway through as of today, and can report that the amount of anger, rage, and gall I have for them is nearly completely dissipated. It feels like the 50-pound sack I’ve been carrying is finally being set down and I can walk again unimpeded.
And dare I say, the love that was buried underneath is starting to return.
Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects.
Kindness doesn’t cost a thing. Yet how often do we default to fighting for what we think we need: more of what we can consume at any one time, winning a senseless argument to prove a point, getting that parking spot just a few paces closer to the front door of the grocery store?
How important is it really anyway?
If we just paused a moment and asked ourselves that question, how much less stress and angst would we have in our lives?
Now don’t get me wrong, and please don’t take this as a lecture from me to you, because I’m one of the biggest offenders here. Lord knows, just ask my husband!!
But what I do know for sure is this: when I take a moment to be kind, to be supportive, to take a moment out of an incredibly jam-packed life full of “I’m so busy” to be helpful to the person coming up behind me, as I wished there was someone when I was trying to make my way, there’s this inner glow that starts to happen that feels almost magical.
Do you ever wish for a time long past where ‘things were simpler’ and ‘life was easier’? I’m not talking about some Pollyanna BS, but a time when you felt better about the world in general.
Well, you can still grab a small piece of it.
Just try this: a small act of kindness. Not contrived, but true giving, without expectation of reward.
In these heated times of political grenades, unrest in the streets, economic uncertainty, and a virus invading every aspect of our lives, we can use some good news. And you can be a part of that. Just one small act can ripple across another’s life, which in turn can influence another in their life, and so on.
Let’s start that revolution, today, one person at a time.
I have faith in humanity still, won’t you join me in this belief?